I’ll Take It Black – “Friends help friends have threesome”

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That’s the statement he used when he (we’ll call him.. Mark?) texted me. “Dude, come on. Do it as a friend! She’s cute and it’ll be fun! How often does this opportunity come up?!”, he texted. (Little did I know, threesome offers were about to be at an all time high in my life, but I digress)

I was feeling pretty skeptical. One, I was just getting comfortable with my body and wasn’t entirely thrilled on the idea of his other fuck buddy seeing me naked. Second, he mentioned that this fuck buddy happened to have feelings for him, fairly strong feelings, actually. Which wasn’t really a detail that backed all the promises of the “fun we’d have.” In all honesty, it really set a tone for an awkward and possibly feeling felt interaction. It was something I knew was beyond my normal level of everyday social discomfort. Despite the clear warning signs, as per usual, the allure of the adventure grasped me and before I knew it, I had agreed. You know, “as a friend”.

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The night came that we were supposed to “do it.” I sat in my car waiting until Mark’s parents had officially gone to bed. That way, we could begin occupying his basement without drawing any attention. I had gotten there first luckily, but the anticipation of meeting her was killing me. What if she wasn’t my type? Or I wasn’t hers? What if her vag smelled weird? I wasn’t ready for these types of speed bumps. I was used to dealing with dick issues, but how do I handle a pussy one? As panic began to set in, she arrived. I hugged her and noticed how good her hair smelled and she had a phat booty. So maybe I was overthinking it. Maybe it’d be alright after all. I mean, if her hair smells good, her pussy must be good too? Right? Turns out, I wouldn’t be finding out.

We sat awkwardly, watching Walking Dead and trying to interact. The first time threesome realization laying heavy on everyone’s mind. After a few minutes, Mark begins coaxing us to get undressed. Like it’s something that appears we had both done here many times before. This time was just slightly more difficult. Her and I glanced back and forth at each other, neither of us wanting to make the first move. Removing petty clothing like socks and over shirts. This goes on for a few minutes, the air thick with obvious discomfort.

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Growing slightly annoyed, Mark urges us to “do it or not”. Slowly, we begin taking pieces of clothing off, actual pieces this time, until we were both naked and on our knees. Taking in each others bodies through awkward side glances. As he watched us undress, he flops his dick out from his boxers. Silently eyeing us both. Trying to figure out who’d touch it first.

Much like getting undressed, initially touching his dick was a considerably lengthy process. To put it frankly, it was a real boner killer. But, eventually, I leaned in and began sucking and she quickly followed suit by leaning in and sucking his balls. It was back to life! “Cool!” I thought, “This is teamwork.” Nope. As soon as I met her gaze I saw it in her eyes. This wasn’t teamwork at all, this was a competition and it was definitely time for me to bring it. We both began using our best oral moves, bobbing and weaving around each other in an effort to keep his boy parts in our mouths. Excitedly, he pushes us back and says, “Now your turn!” Now our turn what??

Her and I look at each other, disinterest in touching me written all over her face. She leans in slowly, then flick licks my nipple a couple times, then leans back. I lean up and grab her to kiss, as we start to make out (the median comfort point for us it appeared) Mark slides it in and starts fucking her. Telling me to “lick her titties” or “kiss her neck” as he strokes in and out of her. I follow orders, only pausing to stop and ask her if she’s cool with it. She mumbles yes and rolls her eyes. Clearly annoyed by my existence. His eyes on us, her eyes on me.

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Mark soon transitions over to me, sliding it in and telling her to “interact some”. She was a basic no go, watching us from the side, occasionally grabbing my boob. Staring at us with jealousy in her eyes as if this was a competition for his heart. Like some weird onlooker invited to watch, but not touch. After a few minutes he moans deeply and tells us to catch it. Then he pulls out to cum in our hair and eyes. How lovely. Thanks, friend. We both pull on our clothes, but she settles on the couch to hang out longer as I throw on my shoes to leave. There was no way I was enduring more of this discomfort, especially now that I had came. Mark walks me to the door satisfied, telling me we should do that again. “Sure, but next time, let’s not use your fan girl from high school.” He laughed and agreed.

Moral of the story, don’t have threesomes with friends, at least as a favor. Andddd, probably don’t offer to have threesomes with guys you like in an effort to impress them.. But that’s not my lesson to learn.

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